从这个题目上来看“如何不再在意别人眼中的你”虽然作者用词激烈点，但是相信也是他（她）自己的心声。此文有鸡汤文的嫌疑，然偶尔给自己充下电也是件不错的事，下面是我边读的感想和边翻译的内容。

We’re all guilty. Every day from the moment we wake up, we live our lives caring what other people think of us.
我们都是有罪的。每一天从我们醒来起，我们始终都在关心着别人是怎么看待自己的。

We accept the status quo for what it is because everyone around us does. We tip toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. How are these pants going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I spoke out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me?
我们一直接受这种现状的原因是我们周围其他的人也是这样。我们小心冀冀的这样做去取悦别人，而所做的这些东西却不是我们信仰的。最终，我们的行为、外貌打扮和整个生活都被“别人是怎么看我的”这个标准左右着。比如下面的这些问题：一条裤子好不好看？我讲一些话同事会怎么看？有别人在我背后说坏话么？如果我做这份工作我的朋友和家人会怎么看我呢？

Just writing that paragraph alone gave me a headache. It’s exhausting. It’s dreadful. It has to stop. Living a life that follows the ideal notions of what other people think is a terrible way to live. It makes you become the spineless spectator who waits for other people to take action first. It makes you become a follower. Worst of all, it makes you become someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything.
仅仅写了上面这一小段话都上我头痛不已。这使我精疲力尽，这太可怕了，我必须停止这样。一直活在别人观念下的生活方式非常糟糕的。这会使你变成没有主见的人，只能等别人先行动了，你才能跟随着再行动。最不好的是，这使你变的一文不值，没有任何特点，谁都可以替代你。

Today is the last day we live a life dictated by others. Today, we’re going to get to the bottom of the truth. Today is the day we stop giving a FUCK!
今天是我们生活在他们目光下的最后一天。今天，我们要揭开事情的本质，从今天开始我们将不再管各种他妈的世俗观点。

No One Really Cares
没有人真正关心你在做什么

Believe it or not, we’re not that special. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is: those people are thinking the exact same thing. No one in today’s “smartphone-crazed” society has time in their schedule to think more than a brief second about us. The fact of the matter is, when we do have time get our thoughts straight, we’re too busy thinking about ourselves and our own shortcomings-not others.
不管你相不相信，我们每个人不是那么的特别，其实大家都差不多。我们每天都在思考别人会怎么看待自己，其实其他的那些人也是在做一样的事情。在今天“智能手机”泛滥的时代，没有人会花时间去思考你的行为，实际上，当大家真的有时间好好思考的时候，大家一般都专注于考虑自身的问题和缺点，根本没时间管别人的事。

A study done by the National Science Foundation claims that people have, on average, 50,000 plus thoughts a day. This means that even if someone thought about us ten times in one day, it’s only 0.02% of their overall daily thoughts. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think of most things relating to “me” or “my.” This means that unless you have done something that directly affects another person or their life, they are not going to spend much time thinking about you at all.
一个国家科学基金研究项目表明人们每天有将近50000次的思考。这意味着即使有人在一天里去考虑我们10次，也仅仅是一天中他总共思考次数的0.02%。对此我表示很遗憾但又不得不承认这个事实：人们一天基本都在考虑他们自己。这也意味着除非你做了一些直接影响他人的事，否则他们根本不会花时间去考虑你及你的事情的。

I’ve always enjoyed watching performers trying to hustle for some change at New York City train stations. These guys simply don’t give a F@$%. But the more interesting observation I made is how the spectators react. Rather than watching the actual performers, most people are looking around to see how other people are reacting. If people were laughing, they would start laughing too. But if people weren’t paying attention, they would also pay no mind.
我经常喜欢看纽约市地铁里那些艺人表演节目以赚取一些零钱。虽然他们自己基本都不在乎能赚多少钱。但是随着我观察他们的时间变久，我发现了围观群众们的一些特点。他们居然不是观看正在表演的艺人们，大部分人却是在留意周围人的表现。如果其他人笑他们也会开始去笑。如果周围的人都不去关注艺人的表演，他们也会很漠视的路过。

Even when provided with the blatantly obvious opportunity to judge someone, people are still thinking about how others may perceive them. Once you understand that this is how people’s minds works, it’s a big step towards freedom.
即使是人们被提供了很公开地提出批判某人的机会，他们仍然会思考下其他们会怎么样看待自己。一旦你明白了人们的这些想法，你就向真正的自由又迈出了一大步了。

You Can’t Please Everyone
你无法取悦所有人

It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations. There will always be people—no matter what we say or how we treat them—that will judge us. Whether you’re at the gym, at work, taking the train, or even online playing Call of Duty. Even now it’s happening. You will never be able to stop people from judging you, but you can stop it from affecting you.
取悦所有的人是不可能的。至始至终都会有这样一些人：无论我们说什么或者我们怎么对待他们，他们都会对我们作出批判。无论你是在健身房、在工作、乘车、或者在打游戏。即使是现在这也正在发生着。你永远都没有办法去阻止别人批判你，但是你可以停止让这些事影响你。

Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen when someone is judging you or what you’re doing. I guarantee that chances are—nothing will happen. Absolutely nothing. No one is going to go out of their busy lives to confront us, or even react for that matter. Because as I mentioned before, no one actually cares. What will happen is that these people will actually respect you for claiming your ground. They may disagree with you, but they’ll respect you.
当有人批判你或者你的行为时想一下这件事情的最坏结果可能是什么。我保证最大的可能是什么结果都不会有。绝对什么后果都不会有。没人会从他们繁忙的生活中挤出时间去和我们面对面辩解，或者对这样的事作出反应。因为像我之前说的那样，其实没人关心这些。实际上这些人还会表面上尊重你的作法。他们可能不会同意你的想法或作法，但是他们表现的很尊重你。

Start standing up for what you believe in—causes, opinions, anything. You’re going to have people that disagree with you anyways, so why not express how you truly feel? I’ve learned that it’s better to be loved by a few people you care about, than to be liked by everyone. These are family, friends, your spouse—the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people. They’re the only people that matter.
从现在开始真诚的表达你所信仰的东西：自己的理由、观点等等一切。反正你会被一些人所反对，那为什么不表达出自己真实的感受呢？我认为被一些你关心的人所爱要比被所有人所爱更好一些。那些人是我们的家人、朋友、你的另一半，这些人是爱你这个人本身的，而且在你困难的时候他们总是会陪在你的左右。将精力焦距在关心这些人上。他们才是对你有意义的。

You reap what you sow
你播什么种，你就收获什么

Worrying too much about what other people think can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the way we think starts to become the way we behave. These individuals become people-pleasers and are overly accommodating to others, thinking it will stop them from being judged. In fact, the opposite is true. Most people don’t like push-overs and are turned off by it. The behavior we use in an attempt to please others, can actually cause the opposing effect. This means that if you’re a push-over, then you’re going to be attracting others in your life who are also push-overs. Vice versa. This can be quite a dangerous path to go down if you don’t recognize its consequences.
考虑太多别人怎么样的可能导致你的自满，因为你怎么样的将会影响你怎么做的。一些人慢慢地变成了善于取悦别人的人，一般都会和别人达成妥协，他们认为这样做会让别人不再批判他们。实际上，这个效果恰恰是相反的。大部分人不喜欢耳根软的人，所以当我们认力去取悦别人时，他们却感觉你非常的讨厌。也就是说如果你是一个耳根软的人，那么你就可能会吸引一些同样是耳根软件的人进入到你的生活。反之亦然。如果你没意识到这点将是一种非常危险的过程。

It’s been said that we are the average of the five people we hang out with the most. When we start to attract and associate with the same people that share our weaknesses —we’re stuck. We stop growing, because there’s no one to challenge us to be better. We start thinking that this is the norm and we remain comfortable. This is not a place you want to be.
有人说我们是五个我们最常约出去的五个人的综合体。当我们开始接触并交往一些有着相同弱点人的时候。我们就不会再成长了，因为在交往的圈子中没有谁是更好的。我们就会开始认为那样是正常，我们在一起也很舒服。但是，这真不是一个我们想要的。

Now let’s talk about the cure. Here are five ways to stop giving a F@$%.
现在让我们谈论下解决的方法。下面有五种方法让我们不再为别人的看法而困扰：

Reclaiming your freedom
重获自由

  • Know your values

First and foremost. You need to know what’s important to you in life, what you truly value, and what you’re ultimately aiming for. Once you know who you really are and what matters to you, what other people think of you becomes significantly less important. When you know your values, you’ll have something to stand up for —something you believe in.
首先，最重要的是你必须认识到在你生命中什么是最重要的，你内心真正在乎的是什么，以及你的最终极目标是什么。一旦你明白你自己是谁和你关心的是什么，别人对你的看法就显得不是很重要了。当你知道了自己的更看重的是什么，你需要能够代表一些你信仰的东西。

You’ll stop saying yes to everything. Instead, you’ll learn to say no when friends pressure you to go bar-hopping, or when a tempting business opportunity distracts you from your business. When you have your values straight, you have your shit straight.
你就不会对所有的东西说“是”了，你也将学会推辞一些朋友劝你去酒吧或者引诱你辞职去找别的工作。当你清楚了你重视的东西，你就会使自己稳定下来。

  • Put yourself out there

Now that you know what your values are, it’s time to put yourself out there. This can be done several ways. Here are a few suggestions:
现在你知道你存在的价值了吧，是时候让你自己从这一团糟中逃脱出来了。这很可能几天就可以完成，下面是一些建议：
Blogging 写博客
Wearing a polka-dot sweater 穿一件多点瘦身的上衣（→_→）
Public Speaking Flirting/Asking someone out 在公开场所和别人心怀讨论/和某人出去约会

Keep in mind that when you’re doing any of these activities, you have to speak your mind. Be honest with yourself and what you share, because the world doesn’t need another conflict-avoider who does what everyone else does.
要记住当你做上面这些事情人，你必须真诚的吐露心声。对自己对别人都坦诚相对，分享你最真实的想法，因为这个世界不需要那些一味效仿他们的行为来避免自己出问题的人。

  • Surround yourself with pros

Surround yourself with people who are self-assured, and live life without comprising their core values. These people will rub off on you quickly.
在你的周围是一些自信的人，他们的生活并不构成他们自身的核心价值。这些人们很快会习惯你的作法。

One of my best friends, Cody, has been a big influence on me. Having spent the summer with him, I’ve observed countless times where he strongly voiced his opinion on controversial topics. What I learned was that he was simply voicing opinions that people already had in their heads, but were too afraid to voice. People admired him for being so honest and direct, even when they disagreed with his views. Thanks for not giving a F@$%, Cody.
我的一个朋友Cody曾经对我产生了很大的影响。我和他一起渡过了一个夏天，我发现了很多次他对一些有争议的问题大明确的表达自己的看法。从他身上我学到的是他只是说出了大家心里都想着的观点，但是其他人都害怕不敢表达而已。人们很敬佩他的诚实与直接，即使当他们自己的观点与Cody的观点不同。Cody，非常感谢你的这种直接。

  • Create a “Growth List”

OK, now we’re getting personal. I haven’t told anyone this, but I have this list called the “Growth List.” A Growth List is comprised of all the things in life that makes you uncomfortable. These are fears, insecurities—anything that gives you the jitters. Here’s how it works.
好了，现在我们来处理自己的事情。我过去没告诉过其他人，但是我将这个列表称为“成长列表”。成长列表由一些生活中可能引起你不舒服的一些事情组成。这些事可以是令你害怕、紧张等的一切你处理起来会局促不安的事情。下面是怎么做的。

You start by writing all the things that make you feel uncomfortable. Then one-by-one, you do them. Once you complete the task, you move on to the next. Repeat.
你可以将所有你认为会令你不舒服的事情都列到表里。一件一件的去做，一旦你完了了这些事情，你就成长了一些。通过反复这个过程你会发现你成长的速度很快。

My first growth task was taking a cold shower (The Flinch). I turned the water as cold as it could get, and I could feel my body shake before I even entered the shower. This was the inner bullshit voice in my head talking. It was hard at first. But surprisingly, it got easier the second time. Then even easier the third time. Before I knew it, my body stopped shaking—I was no longer uncomfortable; I’d conquered my fear.
我做的第一件事情是洗一个冷水澡（来自《The Flinch》）。我将水设置成最冷的温度，我甚至在进入浴池之前就感到全身发抖。这是来自我身体本身的抱怨。一开始的时候确实很难，但是令我吃惊的是，第二次就好了很多。然后第三次时就更加容易了。我在不知不觉中，身体就不再发抖，我也不太感到不舒服。这样我就战胜了自己的恐惧。

This exercise does wonders. I have yet to find a better way to get out of my comfort zone. You can read all the books in the world about being confident or getting over your fears, but if you don’t take action, you’re just someone who’s read how to ride a bicycle without ever having ridden one.
这个练习产生了奇迹般的效果。我已经找到一个比较好的方式来跳出我满的温床。你可以看一下所有讲自信和克服恐惧的书，但是如果你不去行动，你就成了那种只学习怎么骑自行车理论而不去亲自骑一骑的人。

  • Travel alone

If you’re looking for an ultimate transformation that combines all of the points above, you should travel alone. Traveling with other people can be fun, but you won’t get the opportunity to truly get out of your comfort zone. You’ll be exposed to different social cultures, break social norms that you didn’t even know existed, and ultimately, be forced to burst out of your small bubble.
如果你正在寻找一种将以上提到的所有点都完成的终极方法，那么你应该出去独自旅行一趟。与其他人一起旅游可能是很有意思的一件事，但是你不会获得彻底脱离那种固有的安逸温床的机会。独自旅行将会让你充分暴露在不同的社会文化中，打破一些你甚至都不知道的常规，最终你会完完全全的冲破旧的牢笼。

Bring as little as possible, and fit everything into one backpack. Plan nothing, except for a one-way flight ticket to your destination—figure everything else out when you’re there. Trust me, you’ll be just fine. It won’t be easy initially, but don’t get discouraged. Being comfortable with the uncomfortable will grow with time. I continue to struggle with it everyday, as do many others. But you need to get started today.
带越少的东西越好，最好将所有的东西都装进你的背包中。不用做什么计划，只订一个单程机票去你的第一个目的地，等你到达那里后再解决其他所有的问题。相信我，你肯定会没事的。可能一开始会有一些困难，但是不要灰心。你打破常规，突破自我的能力会随着时间的增长慢慢增强的。我现在你其他很多人一样每天依旧与之斗争着。也许，你可以从今天开始。

The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don’t give a F@$% are the ones that change the world. Be the latter. Start living life the way you want, be fearless like you once were as a child, and always, always stand up for the truth. Someone has to.
世界已经有很多很多安于现状的人了。正是那些能够打破常规、不受世俗目光羁绊的人改变了世界。想成为改变世界的人，你需要活出属于自己的生活，像你当年作为一个小孩子一样的无所畏惧，至始至终的坚持真理，相信真相。而且，这个世界需要一些这样的人。